I am reading Arlene Dickinson’s newest book called “Reinvention”. I’m half way through and I love it. I have loved her since I saw her on Dragons Den and wanted to be like her in so many ways. A strong woman entrepreneur.
She talks about when she first started on the show and how intimidating it was to be a role model but then she saw that it was her imperfections that made her a good leader. It made her relatable and human. She didn’t have flashy degrees that made her what she was – she was who she was because she worked hard and was true to herself.
This inspires me because I can can definitely embody those two things – imperfection and being myself. Being imperfect is easy but being true to yourself is harder because you have to let your imperfections show. They are a part of who you are. Leaders who “have it all together” will have more followers, until the armour tarnished and cracks appear – because they will, and then people will be disillusioned. An imperfect leader may not have some people follow because they are disillusioned from the start but those kinds of people will just jump from one “perfect” leader until they fail and then they will find another. Those people do this because they can not accept the imperfections within themselves.
Everyone fails. To fail is to be human. I make a ton of mistakes all the time but I do my utmost to own them. They are my mistakes and I desire to learn from them and grow. I’ll share them with you and I hope you share yours with me so we can grow together. I know that airing my imperfections in a public place, like I have here, has hindered some potential opportunities but I would rather be real and accepted for who I am than pretend.
My degrees don’t make me who I am – which is why I do not want to ever be called doctor. My company doesn’t make me who I am- I built that but it’s not a definition of Amanda. Even being a mom- which is the best thing in the world, does not define me. I am me because of my character and my core values. Take me or leave me, that’s up to you but you know what your getting: imperfections and all.
I have been so blessed to be able to travel as much as I have. There are still so many placed I have not gone and want to go, as well as many I want to go back to. A few weeks ago I got to spend some time with someone I highly respect named Bob Goff and he spoke about being where your feet are.
For many who have suffered trauma, it has been a necessary life skill to learn how to be in another place in your mind, as far away from where your feet are as possible. This also happens when I am preoccupied with other things. Sometimes this is not bad because I have a lot of things on the go and I need to remember deadlines or projects, but it has been too common that I have not been where my feet are when I could or should have been.
This skill is something I am taking to heart and practicing being intentional about. There is an aspect of my job that requires me to be on call 24/7 but even still I am leaning more on my team so that my phone can be off when I am doing schoolwork or spending time with my kids. You can call during our family game night but I will likely have to get back to you.
Sometimes I consciously think in my head, “what is in this moment that I need to get out of it?” I am finding a lot of peace in that. I have always been a destination person. I don’t like to stop on road trips or ‘enjoy the journey’ if you will and I think in many ways that won’t significantly change because I am a goal-driven person but there is a balance. There are things to experience on the way and I am finding ways to not miss those but also to not get off track.
The future looks so bright and I can not wait to get there, but it will not come one second sooner than it will so right now I am discovering what is here in the now. I can’t wait to be done course work but I found myself in a course I really love (finally haha). I am actually reading all of the textbook for that class instead of skimming to find the answers. I’m not saying I will do that for all courses but I am happy I can do that for this one. I’m going to get as much out of it that I can while still counting the days until there are no more assignments due.
There are still lots of times things go wrong or life is just plowing me with lemons but I will either find or make peace in the chaos. I will play my piano. I will go to the gym. I will cuddle my youngers or listen to my olders share what is important to them. I will let the sunshine fall on my face and soak through to my soul. I will surf the waves and ride them as far as I can, sometimes falling, but every time getting back up on my board.