This is what I do, don't try to understand how I do it; I don't really know either

Posts tagged ‘Sex’

I was raped

This past week I became aware that a woman in India was gang raped at the orders of an elders council. I found this to be abhorrent and shared this story on my social media to bring awareness to the atrocities that go on in our world. If people don’t know, then they can’t take action. It is my hope that with knowledge people will do what they can to bring about the change that needs to happen in our world to speak to the value of human life.

One of my facebook friends private messaged me that she did not feel that story was appropriate for facebook and that she changes the channel if there is stalking or rape on it. If we ignore the problems they will not go away!

This made me wonder if part of the reason it is easy to turn away is because the victims are nameless and faceless people. Sure rape happens, but if it’s not someone we know then we can pretend it doesn’t. It’s when crime comes close to home we realize how great the problems are.

So that’s why I want to share part of my life story publicly. I want to put a name and face to rape. It’s mine. I was sexually abused as a child from a young age to age 10. My parents knew nothing about it while it was happening. I was raped in high school by an older boy and again at a party in my early 20’s.

I have spoken to too many women who have been through what I have been through. Some had never told anyone what had happened to them. What I went through is still painful even though I have found a lot of healing, but I am grateful that I have been able to use what happened to help other women who know the shame that is left like a residue on your soul.

If you want to pretend this doesn’t happen, then you can no longer look at my face. I am proof that it does and that we have to talk about these issues and take action. Praise be to God that I am also proof that you can go through horrific things and find healing and wholeness. It is difficult to share my story, but I do so because though the scars remain, THEY DO NOT DEFINE ME.

I bring a reality of hope, of life after the darkness.

So how do you help? You help by being a part of the change that has to happen in our culture. This is a fantastic 12 minute video from TedX that will explain the sexual objectification of our culture: http://www.upworthy.com/being-a-sex-object-is-empowering-oh-wait-no-it-s-not-here-s-why-2. Men and Women should watch that video and take the steps she suggests. Things have to change! We should be outraged at what has become normal. If we can not change things here, how can we make changes around the world – changes that will stop women from being raped, stop children from being sold and stop lives from being lost.

If you have been a victim and need help or someone to talk to contact me through social media or my email on the contact page. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

I can only imagine how incredible it would be to live in a world where people saw the value in each and every life.

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Look At Women

Just recently I read this blog http://earthtourist.org/2013/07/05/modesty-misunderstood/ by Travis Klassen. His viewpoint was not brand new to me, though it was not what I was taught growing up. The fact that it was coming from a man was new to me. The idea that a man’s lustful thoughts are the responsibility of the man, and not the women he is lusting after, is something that has come to make sense to me, but again was not how I was raised – by my parents or the church. Anytime a women has posted this viewpoint I feel like she is too often dismissed as looking for an excuse to dress “inappropriately.”

A few days after reading that blog, my devotions fell in Job – specifically Job 31. Verse 1 says, “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl.” It really stuck me that Job said he would not look lustfully at a girl, he did NOT say he would not look at a girl.

We demean men into mindless animals when we except that they could not look at an attractive woman without being reduced to something with no self control and completely bound by a sexual instinct. Can a man look at a woman and lust – yes. Can a man look at a women and not lust – yes.

We tell men to avert their eyes from women so as to avoid lustful thoughts. But what if they learned to look at women and not lust? Are they going to be attracted to some women – yes, because God made us to find certain things attractive about others but that doesn’t mean it has to go further. By all means if you are looking at a women and find yourself having lustful issues and need to “bounce your eyes” please do so. I am a woman and I have done so. I have also been guilty of lusting at times. It all depends on the self control that I use or don’t use over my own thoughts. Where am I allowing them to go? Am I looking at this attractive man as someone God made that is appealing to me but I will only allow my thoughts to think on him as a brother or am I letting my thoughts go to places they should not? Why is the expectation different for men? I don’t believe it should be.

Men are strong – in body and in spirit. They are fully capable of viewing women – even scantily clad women as sisters. I know because I have brought men with me to porn shows with www.xxxchurch.com to hand out Bibles to porn stars. They tell them that Jesus loves them and they look them in the eye to show respect and that they are more, so much more than just a physical body. Why can’t we raise our young men to do this? Why can’t we instil in men that they are more than just lustful desires that are beyond their control?

Into the Furnace

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. You remember those guys right? They got thrown into a fiery furnace. I lead 9 other people to the sex show in Vancouver for the fourth year to hand out Bibles and tell people that Jesus loved them.

Here’s what I know:

The furnace boys were not alone. Jesus was with them.

The furnace boys had an impact in their world without mega phones and preaching.

The furnace boys were not harmed in anyway and didn’t even smell like smoke.

The furnace boys lives were changed.

This weekend…so were we. All the glory to God.