This is what I do, don't try to understand how I do it; I don't really know either

It’s your birthday

It’s your birthday today but your not here. I can’t believe how old you would be. I can’t even picture what you would look like but I know you would be beautiful because you always have been – because even though you were lovely on the outside, you were gorgeous on the inside.

I took 35 kids skiing today and it was a lot of work but a lot of fun. You would be so proud of what I do and how I get to speak into the lives of young people- just like you did for me.

Life hasn’t turned out how I hoped but there are so many good things. I just miss you especially for the difficult things because you were always there. You always encouraged me and believed I could go further than I thought I could. You saw things in me that I couldn’t see in myself. It’s taken me a long time and I still struggle, but I see them. I still doubt them often but I see them.

I don’t know where I would be without you for even the short time I had you. Where would I be if you were still here? I miss you every single day. Thank you for being you. Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for the way you loved me.

I love you Susan, happy birthday.

All my love,

Your little sister.

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