This is what I do, don't try to understand how I do it; I don't really know either

Following my heart

I am 39 years old, 40 in 12 days to be precise. When I was a child I always wanted to learn to play the piano. It has such a beautiful sound and I could imagine those sounds being created from my fingertips. I was not given that opportunity as a child so as an adult I have now gotten a piano for my children but I also have a teacher and am learning to play. I did not start easy. I told my teacher I wanted to learn Fur Elise, but not the childrens version; the proper three page long, full Beethoven style. It was ambitious but it’s my favorite piano song.

I have almost all of it memorized now and when I play, I can create the sounds that Beethoven composed so many years ago – with the exception of the non-memorized parts. I realized when practicing today that as long as I follow my heart I play flawlessly. When I start to lose focus and think about the notes or even about life I stumble and falter. Today I told myself to stop the words in my head and hear my heart. And I sat at my piano and cried.

Someone I love dearly has repeatedly told me to follow my heart but I have rejected that advise based on Jeremiah 17:9 which says that the heart is deceitful. I refused to listen, but I was wrong. I follow Celtic Christian Tradition on facebook and am continuing to learn about Celtic Christianity. They have a post that talks about the fact that we can not actually be lost. I have felt lost so many times. Their point is that we are not lost, we are just covered over by the labels of the world, by stress, pressure, expectations etc. We are actually there, underneath it all, who we were created to be. We just need to unbury ourselves and we are there.

This morning as I felt so strongly that I was to follow my heart I looked up Jeremiah 17. I read the WHOLE chapter. In verse 10 it says that God searches the heart and then rewards based on our deeds. I believe this means our deeds are connected to our heart and it means there is good in our heart – there also can be evil, as I have witnessed in my life, but it does not have to be. The heart is not ALWAYS deceitful. We have a Christain adage that when you accept Christ, He is allowed to live in your heart. Jesus is my saviour and I will follow Him all my days. I will make mistakes, I will mess up but HE LIVES IN MY HEART.

His voice can, will and does speak from my heart. In accordance with His word in the Bible, I will follow my heart.

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